Advice for a Vegetarian

Today, some poetry for you. I seem to remember it was written for a friend who was struggling with some kind of whole food diet. You know the kind of thing, if you chew enough, you’ll burn off the calories you take on board by ingestion…..

I heard that you’re on a new diet
Based on cabbages, beetroot and carrot;
I suspect you might need some advice
On a good way to make them taste nice.

So I thought that I might take a look
In the best of my cookery books,
And while none was for veggies devoted,
There WERE points that I felt should be noted.

Courgettes can be nice to a fault
(But always add plenty of salt),
And swede can be flavoursome too
(Though only when salted right through).

I CAN recommend corn on the cob,
Either grilled, or cooked on the hob,
And spinach just can’t be replaced
(If you salt it to keep out the taste).

You’ll find greens can be wild and exciting
(Though appearance not always inviting),
And you just cannot BEAT beans and pulses
(Lots of salt, or they too are repulsive).

They say salads are well worth a try,
(I can’t see, for the life of me, why),
And if you don’t want to chew more than twice,
It might be worth checking out rice.

For textural interest and flavour,
Then well salted nuts should be savoured,
And it’s worth being experimental
(Though cautious) with things such as lentils.

Yes, you can do lots of things if you try,
Whether boiled or baked or deep-fried,
But soya’s the most versatile…
Do what you like… It’s still vile.

Well, I think that’s the best of my findings,
Though one point, I think, is worth minding,
I’ve checked the best books I could get,
Even searched on the world Internet;

And at length I confirm my conclusion,
There ARE things you can eat in profusion,
But show care with these recipes endless
Lest their gastric effects leave you friendless.

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