Faltering Steps…

The thoughts behind the song ‘Two Step’ in our new album ‘Love can be a Bumpy Road’.

It’s time I made a confession to you all: Everyone else seems to be so much more spiritual than I am…


So many people I know are able to come up with the right Bible verse for every situation. Every day, they clearly spend significant amounts of time in silent meditation, studying their Bibles (which are large, floppy, black, and thickly populated with copious notes), and receiving guidance from God, who finds them so much more accessible than He must find me.

All these people clearly spend hours on their well worn knees in diligent prayer. But, I’m sorry to say, the same cannot be said of me.

My prayer life is shakily unreliable. I remember, from time to time, to bask in God’s unwavering love, but oh so much more often, I shoot Him frantic ’arrow’ prayers, searching for assistance in the dark hours of the night or the heat of an anxious day.

I subscribe to a set of Bible notes that I am meant to read daily; I am not very good at maintaining the suggested program. Most days I will read some of it – and occasionally I will read all of it, but on an awful lot of days, I have to admit that life just takes over.

Some weeks are better than others. There are times when I long for His presence, and will seek Him out accordingly. Sometimes I will really begin to feel that I’m getting it – that deep spirituality that other people seem to have.

Only to find, a few days later, that I haven’t progressed as much as I would like to have done. Life asserts itself again with tiresome inevitability.

But in spite of this…

He treasures me. He shows me new joys and wonders each day. He speaks to me, and I am learning to recognise His voice. He uses me in His plan (what an extraordinary God of patience He is). He holds me and ministers to me; He teaches me new songs. I am blessed with untold Grace by this glorious Lord to whom I do not give the honour He is due.

My life is a dance – two steps forward and one step back.

I am reminded of the truism about the amount of water we drink. Apparently, we need in excess of two litres of water, every day. That is, nice clean water, unsullied by tea, coffee, cola, squash and any of the other things we buy to make our most basic nutritional requirement palatable. However, many of us drink little or no pure water in its true form at all; with the result that we spend most of our lives in some degree of dehydration, which brings all the inevitable side effects that entails. Often, we are so bad at recognising our own thirst, that rather than taking on water as our body requires, we think we are hungry and eat instead.

However, once we start making a habit of ensuring we drink enough, it all begins to come together; we start recognising that nothing else quite ticks the right boxes, and as we drink more of the right thing, we move inevitably toward a more healthy lifestyle. A positive, habit-forming cycle.

I suspect that I will find the key to more mature spirituality in a similar manner – if I start to ensure that I get enough time in God’s company, rather than seeking comfort in the business and distractions offered by the world, I will start to recognise that nothing else quite ticks the right boxes. A positive, habit-forming cycle.

My ’two steps forward’ will become more certain.


Woman Drinking Glass of Water

Checkout our new album, now available for download from iTunes, and Amazon. Or if you prefer a CD, order it from our website http://www.outoftheashesmusic.uk

5 thoughts on “Faltering Steps…

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  1. As always, a ‘spot on’ blog. You are amazing. I’m going to share this with my small group (by email!) Less than 2 weeks now till I’m back on SM and can share your new album.

    I have been meaning to ask, are you sure you don’t have a favourite sing or two for your new album?

    Much love to you all


    Sent from my iPad


    1. Hi Roe! Thank you for your, as usual, great encouragement. What do you mean by a ‘ favourite sing’? Is it a typo for ‘song’? If so, I have several… Why? Pxxx

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